How do smart people fall for toxic women and men? Why do these individuals remain in self-destructive relationships when their rational adult minds know better? What keeps them stuck in abusive relationships when the costs are so high to themselves and their children? The short answer is likely a combination of codependency, trauma bonds and […]
That’s Not Normal: “You Need to Fight for Me!” [Meme]
Why isn’t this normal? How much time do you have? Healthy couples work together, not against each other. “You need to fight for me” usually means you’re fighting against their lifelong character pathology. So you fight them, and then get blamed for fighting with them. It doesn’t end until you step out of it and […]
Boundaries Protect You from Narcissists and Borderlines, Part 3: The Very Basics
In Part 1 of this series, I discuss the importance of the law of reciprocity. If a relationship isn’t reciprocal, it will eventually become a source of anger and resentment. Healthy relationships can’t exist on a one-way street paved with double standards. Part 2 explains the joy of saying no. I discuss secondary gains and […]
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