Help a pupper out! Have some boundaries. Say no to guilt trips and shaming. If you Haven’t done anything wrong, then there’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed.
Did you operate outside of your integrity? Okay, so own it and course correct. If you’re unsure or deep in the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt), ask yourself the following questions:
1. Have my choices or behaviors hurt the other person? (*Not to be confused with, “I’m hurt because you’re not okay with me lying, cheating, name-calling, going through your phone, demanding your passwords and not dropping all your female friends and your kids from a previous relationship!)
3. Are my choices and behaviors congruent with social norms? For example, civility, respectful of the rights of others, etc.
4. If the answers to questions 1 – 3 are no, yes and yes, how does the other benefit from you feeling guilty?
Of course, I’m totally trying to manipulate you into having boundaries by using a photo of an adorable French bulldog. Look at that face!
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Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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