If you’ve got Crazy in your life you probably dread the holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions frequently bring out the not so jolly and
merry scary side of Crazy. But then, is there really any other side? Well, that is when Crazy isn’t love bombing or Hoovering, or scheming or scamming or manipulating — you get the idea!
If you’d like to put some holiday boundaries in place, spin your dreidel in peace and maybe even have a silent night, then make Say Goodbye to Crazy your go to stocking stuffer this year.
Here’s what people who’ve read Say Goodbye to Crazy have to say:
Providence writes, “…and every time you have a lull it the torment and think well maybe things will be better now, read it again…After reading in full, I can say with confidence, the only thing I would change about this book is the publication date. What a difference this book could have made for my husband and I 15 years ago. Instead we navigated the crazy waters with the, well intended, but ultimately impotent guidance of friends and family who had no idea what we were up against. While even the most amicable divorces are emotionally charged and have some degree of animosity… If you find that your situation has become toxic and abusive, read this book and when you finish read it again, and every time you have a lull in the torment and think well maybe things will be better now, read it again. Thank you Dr. Palmatier for your no holds barred contribution to a subject few are willing to take on….women can be the abuser.”
Jared Sanchez writes, “Yes it happens to some awesome guys...This book is written primarily for the new partner of a guy out of an abusive relationship. Ignore those references, and still read this even if you haven’t left crazy.. I moved out and this gave me a definitive direction to go…This isn’t a magic fix or a total win. But when you’ve hit bottom there’s nowhere to go but up and forward. The concepts are a bit brutal. And you really have to redefine what a win is…Supplement this book with a professional counselor or some sort of support system. The book goes over questions to ask your prospective therapist. Or talk to someone you trust…I would recommend this book and share it with family members and friends. It’s a very valuable tool.”
Liam Hood writes, “Highly recommended. This book saved my sanity, not to mention my new relationship. Dealing with Crazy in a more strategic way per suggestions in this book are (mostly) working like a charm. We finally said “NO” to Crazy!! Big thank you to the authors.”
JB1975 writes, “Helpful, well-written advice from two people that get it. Excellent book from two people that I admire greatly. Dr. T and Paul provide practical, real-world advice for anyone who has a Crazy in their lives and wants to be proactive in getting rid of them and keeping them gone. It is so refreshing and helpful to read both this book and follow their site and know that there are at least two people out there who do not buy into modern day society’s narrative that you have to put up with someone’s emotional abuse because of _________________________ (insert Crazy’s excuse of the day here). While this book is written for wives dealing with their husband’s ex-wives, anyone who has (or has had) someone like this in their lives will benefit from reading it.”
Johnny Galt writes, “Life changing for those caught up in the drama. Unless you have had this type of crazy person described in this book in your life you can’t really appreciate the magnitude of their abuse. This book gives real clear practical advice dealing with these people. Let’s you know what you’re up against with these type of people, the bias of the courts, and the bias of the psychology profession and gives a blueprint of how best to make your way through to the other side to sanity. I wish I had this book years ago. People who follow the advice of this book will save themselves years of anguish”
Scharnhorst writes, “It’s easy to read and understand…The book can help you break or weaken the connections that keep you attached to “Crazy.” The book is well organized, crisp, and sardonic. It’s easy to read and understand. The authors convey an intimate level of knowledge of the subject. The “Takeaways” at the end of each chapter are great!”
Pamela Stogner writes, “Excellent and applicable information. Hope is restored after reading this book! I recommend it for anyone who has a Crazy in your life and you want to say goodbye to Crazy!”
Renee writes, “Great advice and tactics for real situations.Great advice and tactics for real situations. I’ve read many books about personality disorders trying to figure out how to best handle a crazy ex – this is succinct, relevant and you can put the scenarios into action just as soon as you read them.”
Tim Hewston writes, “Life saving. This book is not written for me, it is written for my second wife on how to survive my ex-wife, Crazy. However, I am the one reading it, as my second wife, a social worker of over 20 years, is even more hardline than Dr. Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam. After six months of watching me trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement and continue my relationship with my children, she simply told my ex-wife, ‘You will never talk with Tim again and never email him. This stops!’ Dr. T and Paul Elam’s advice is exceptional and everybody who is involved with Crazy, or has ever been involved with Crazy, should listen to it, then follow it…”
Amazon customer writes, “Best investment for yourself and you will not be disappointment. Being the 2nd wife, this was spot on in my situation. It helped me to really understand how to deal with this hard topic. Thank you for giving me clarity in knowing it’s not just me and crazy is CRAZY, period. I’m taking a leap off the crazy train knowing its the right and only thing to do. Thank you for giving this topic light. If you are a 2nd wife dealing with these problems—buy the book. Best investment for yourself and you will not be disappointment. I would give it 10 stars if I could!”
Lou writes, “I highly recommend it! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insight, Dr. Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam! My husband and I have had enough of Crazy in our lives. This book portrays the reality and it is the best tool a couple can have in order to find support and valuable information about Crazy. It provides an excellent account of the manipulative tactics Crazy uses in order to get away with her craziness. This is the only book on the topic that really validated my (and my husband’s) experience. It gave us straight to the point advice on how to deal with (and ultimately get rid of) a Crazy and evil ex wife. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a Crazy in their lives. Additionally, I recommend it to lawyers and therapists. It’s a must read! I can’t thank you enough, Dr. Tara and Paul Elam!”
Cheri Laughrey writes, “AMAZING BOOK. One of the best books I have ever read. I recommend this book to anyone that has an imposing ex spouse in their life! AMAZING!!!”
These are just some of the 5-star reviews Say Goodbye to Crazy has received thus far and counting.
Make saying goodbye to Crazy your New Year’s resolution and get started working on it now!
Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.
Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.
I knew zip about women when I married for the first time. I had no idea how manipulative, scheming and controlling they can be. (I do understand there are male “Crazies” too!) My first wife turned on me one day about 1 year into the marriage and told me to ….”go into town for ‘that’, just remember where home is”. Yeah, and then after I asked what she was talking about, she added that we weren’t having any children either. She wasn’t mean, not loud or outwardly abusive and seemed very kind, gentle and loving – I had no reason to believe I’d be hearing this. I stayed another 8 years before ending it. In the end, she approached me with a hand written list of all the men she had been raped by, sexually assaulted or molested by, – and then asked me “….what do you (I) think now?” I said the next time I see so and so, I’m gonna knock him on his ass. For the first time she got very serious and angry, telling me that that is why she never told me. I told her she chose to protect them than have a marriage and family with me – some of these people had sat at our table as guests many times over the years. I told her my wife shouldn’t have had to live in fear of them, that it was my place to see to that. Was she a “Crazy” – I’m not sure, but definitely had some problems that were never going to be resolved – and haven’t. Prior to this conversation, she came to me and said she would agree to have kids – and I had to say no. I explained that this isn’t “Let’s make a deal” – that – I’m not doing this to manipulate her into anything she doesn’t want to do. I’m simply accepting her wishes and moving on, as much as it hurts me. I told her I could never coerce or ‘force’ my wife to have children she never wanted – I was raised by a mother that seemed to say everyday she regretted having us kids – and abused the hell out of us. I couldn’t do that to my own kids or put you (her) in that position. I moved on.
I married again – three more times. I’m an easy target for a grand love bombing! I’m a pleaser and work very hard at it. Probably because as a child I reasoned it was the only way I might ever be loved by my own mother. I devalued myself, let down my boundaries and allowed myself to be taken for granted – even disrespected in order to have them in my life, and me in theirs. It always ended by being resented for my efforts. I’m honest, hard working and selfless to a fault – and to a “crazy”, that’s PERFECT! With each of them, I’d get just so worn out as I discovered nothing I would or could do was ever going to be enough. The moment I began pulling back from that – it’d be the beginning of the end. I’ve been married 4 times. I now realize I have played right into it all, over and over again and so share some of the responsibility for such a record. Damn.
One thing I noticed with each since the first, is that their antics, controlling behaviors, manipulations – all grew more and more dramatic. Perhaps because at some point they knew I’d been through much already and would not stay in it ‘no matter what’ they did. Two stole my ID and obtained bank accounts, credit cards and forged my signature without my knowing (until after the fact). So, do they feel guilty for being so abusive and self centered and ‘punish’ me (projecting) when they ought to be feeling terrible for treating me in this way. Each of them had very poor relationships with their own families and children – and yeah, that too was all my fault even though it had been a problem long before meeting them.
Now, at 57, reflecting on all of this – I’d still like to find the right one. One that won’t be like this but it seems like I’d have to first hand them a list of what I can’t abide or will never tolerate! Great ice breaker! Geesh! I have literally worn my body out physically and find it difficult to still do what I have for the last 35 years. I don’t have the physical strength to move the mountains I once had. Not dead yet, but have to adapt a great deal to keep up with my work. I am resilient and a hopeless optimist – leary, now, but willing to risk in order to be open to finding someone. Does that make sense? Some days I think I should hike off into the woods and never return considering all I’ve been through! I sooooo don’t want to deal with a bunch of drama ever again. I have to learn how to discern and maintain appropriate boundaries – to define what they are and share them and give myself and someone new time to understand it and accept it. Believe me, having been a virtual chameleon myself since childhood, I’m not hard to please at all and actually quite a simple person. I know adversity and have made a living coordinating small groups to meet somewhere (anywhere) across the US and Alaska in secluded, rural wilderness areas and lead them through hands-on workshops to build a handcrafted log cabin from scratch – weeks at a time. I don’t believe anyone could meet a group of strangers in adverse conditions and weather without having people skills, leadership skills and a passion for the subject matter – once even working while surrounded by grizzlies in the wild 265 miles south of Anchorage! I’ve just been a total weak pup when it comes to women though. It seems wrong, even abhorrent, that I should have to be anything but loving, kind and giving in that arena. My last wife, took a check that arrived in the mail written to me by a client, forged my signature on it and went in to a bank, insisting I knew about it and had my permission and I’d signed it myself, and opened a new checking account in her name – then was later to express fear of being arrested for the forgery and would then say it was all my fault. She had four other checking accounts in her name and no need for money – especially a check to me. She did it to exert power over me and show me she’ll do what ever she feels like doing (that I am powerless to do anything about it). She knew something like this had happened in a previous marriage too – so was very much just being a total shit in doing this. I’d seen enough already, and her emotional, impulsive manner in making decisions was destructive – and the real insanity was when she’d flip it all around and make it my fault, something I should take the responsibility for. Talk about WTF moments?!!!
So, it sounds as if this book might be helpful to me in finding someone new – if I do, and aid me in establishing boundaries and the reasons for it. At this point, I’m not looking for a wife at all. I want to find someone to spend time with and share my life with and will be leary of the love bombing bs!