Using logic and facts during conflict with narcissists and borderlines doesn’t lead to mutual understanding and resolution. It has the opposite effect. Facts, logic reason and appeals to fairness only enrage the narcissist. Furthermore, the purpose of conflict with narcissistic and borderline individuals isn’t to resolve problems. The purpose of conflict is to provoke and […]
Power Imbalances in Relationships: Attraction to the Emotionally Unavailable
Recently, a friend shared an observation that the person who cares the least has the most power in a relationship. While I agree that this is true, I also thought to myself, “Yes, but what a lousy relationship.” An exquisitely painful relationship for the one who cares the most. And an ego power trip for […]
Dating Again: What Does Healthy Look Like? Part One
After ending a relationship with an emotionally immature, unstable, self-absorbed, selfish, narcissist, borderline, or garden variety jerk, many people wonder how soon is too soon to begin dating again. Probably not as soon as you’d like. I recommend clients don’t immediately jump back into the dating pool for several reasons. First, you need to heal […]
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