You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality (attributed to Ayn Rand). Staying in an unhealthy, dysfunctional, unsatisfying relationship usually means having to deny the reality of the situation. Denying the reality of a partner’s personality and the unlikelihood that it will change. Denying how bad things actually are. Denying […]
Trauma Bond vs. Healthy Bond: Emotional Intensity vs. Emotional Intimacy [Meme]
When looking for potential love relationships, many of my codependent and trauma bond-prone clients confuse emotional intensity and emotional intimacy. There’s a big difference. Emotional intensity is like a wildfire and emotional intimacy is like a hearth fire. One destroys lives; the other can warm your soul. Oftentimes, dysfunctional, toxic and/or personality disordered individuals are highly […]
Dating Again, Part 1: What Does Healthy Look Like?
After ending a relationship with an emotionally immature, unstable, self-absorbed, selfish, narcissist, borderline, or garden variety jerk, many people wonder how soon is too soon to begin dating again. Probably not as soon as you’d like. I recommend clients don’t immediately jump back into the dating pool for several reasons. First, you need to heal […]
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