Forewarned is forearmed and, when it comes to Crazy, ignoring the warning signs is not only foolish, it is potentially hazardous to your emotional, physical and financial health.
Sometimes you can see Crazy coming a mile away. Sometimes the Crazy is so overt you can see the red flags waving from outer space. In fact, sometimes Crazy will tell you straight up, “I’m crazy (LOL!)” on your first date.
Here are some real life examples:
- There’s a huge woodblock of the word “Princess” in her apartment.
- Noting that Oprah doesn’t help men drives her into a rage.
- When she rages at you for an hour plus on the phone, you can put the phone down, walk to the bathroom, pee, wash your hands, pick the phone back up and she didn’t notice you left.
- She throws such a fit of rage at her 10-year old’s softball tournament that the park shuts down all the games, has the teams meet in the middle of every field, and calls the cops on her. Her child is subsequently removed from the softball team and you are banned for life from the softball park.
If you ignore the obviously crazy ones out of pity or the in the hopes of having “crazy sex,” you may well regret your recklessness later. Crazy is like Vegas — the house always wins. It’s very difficult to walk away from Crazy completely unscathed.
Sometimes the red flags are more subtle, but present nonetheless. Stealth Crazy is trickier. These individuals often seem to have good excuses for their bad behavior when the mask slips during the love bombing phase. The high functioning ones (i.e., better able to hide the crazy) can often keep a lid on the crazy until after you legally bind yourself to her through marriage or children.
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
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