DISCLAIMER: This video has not been fact-checked yet. Thus far, there is no available police report online. For this reason, I’ve removed the woman’s name. The information cited below was obtained from the original Youtube video posting description. It is posted here to demonstrate how quickly a false allegation can occur and how you can protect yourself.
This week, a Youtube video in which a clearly unhinged woman assaults a man and then falsely accuses him of rape went viral. The man who filmed the video appears to have been a tenant at a boarding house allegedly located in Quincy, Massachusetts where the assault and false allegation depicted in the video took place.
According to the video, the landlord who owns and operates the boarding house let herself into the tenant’s room accompanied by two men and then proceeded to assault the tenant. The tenant, in the midst of this craziness, had the presence of mind to grab a video recording device (perhaps his phone) and recorded the last three minutes of her assault.
I have watched the short video several times now and am mesmerized by it. First, the level of Crazy is disturbing, but there are several other things much, much more disturbing in this video. The Crazy Landlord video depicts the following:
- The birth of a false rape allegation.
- DARVO (Deny, Attack and Reverse Victim and Offender) in real time.
- The unbridled malice and “cat that ate the canary” look on the face of the false accuser.
- The use of negative advocates or dupes.
This video also drives home the importance of having a video recording device on your person at all times. This goes for both men and women. High-conflict and personality disordered people are on the rise. The crazy false accuser in this video is not the videographer’s wife or girlfriend or ex; she was purportedly his landlord.
The video was removed from YouTube “as a violation of YouTube’s policy prohibiting content designed to harass, bully or threaten.” I assume Youtube is implying that the video is meant to “harass, bully or threaten” the woman in this video. Let’s be clear. The woman in this video appears to have let herself into her tenant’s room with her two goons/negative advocates and began assaulting her tenant.
When he began filming her assault, she flipped the switch and started to cry rape. She cried rape as she sat down on the alleged “rapist’s” bed of her own volition, which is located directly in front of the wide open door through which she could have fled at any time. Also, would this woman’s two negative advocates allowed the tenant to even touch her?
To watch this video, please click on the image below. You will then be directed to AVoiceforMen, where the video was published after Youtube removed it:
This video is a living, breathing example of how fast a man’s life can be destroyed IF he doesn’t have irrefutable evidence. This is how fast it can happen. I’d be willing to bet this isn’t the first time this woman has cried rape. She does it so reflexively in this video. This woman clearly has issues, but she is not a rape victim or any other kind of victim in this instance. She is the perpetrator.
Have any of you seen a similar expression on your partner’s or ex’s face as she or he was accusing you of things you know that they know aren’t true? Have you experienced the fake distress cry coupled with a smirk?
I don’t know what has happened with this situation, but I hope the tenant pressed charges against her and I hope they stick. Also, if you’re ever traveling through Qunicy, Mass., I’d find alternate accommodations if I were you. Apparently, the WiFi is free, but the false rape allegations will cost you, that is, if you’re not recording.
Counseling with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
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I think that all false allegations should be punished for the crime they were accusing the victim of perpetrating.
Dr Tara Palmatier says
I agree 100%.
Definitely have seen similar facial expressions. Really scary. BTW, I have a court date in November, and my hopefully soon to be ex has tried to “fix” things by scheduling 14 sessions of Imago therapy. So, last week, I sat through an hour and a half of watching crying, screaming, and repeated lies about my family and how they do not support her in the way that she wanted, hoped or expected and about how abusive she thinks they are to her, and how their lack of relationship with her has nothing to do with her behavior.
The scary eyes are what really get you. Followed by the complete inability to be in touch with anyone else’s reality and the utter conviction that their reality is the only correct one, as it has been validated by their close friends. There is nothing that they can be told or convinced of (e.g. no matter how many times I ask not to leave 10 messages a day on my work cellphone). And, there is nothing that cannot be refuted on their side by a blanket accusation of negative character traits. And, this altered reality seeps into everything, from their belief that they are good mothers (no matter what the refuting evidence), to their belief that you offer them no support and that they are essentially single (even if you are the sole provider in the family).
So, in the end, often these people do not even know that what they are doing is false, as they are operating from a different playbook, similar to a (probably mild Aspbergers) co-worker in my former office who kept on backstabbing his peers and managers, not because he was malicious, but because he was unconscious.
Some people are just damaged to the point that they are impossible to work with, and in the end, all we can hope for is some clarity and the balls to end things.
The video didn’t load for me, I had to find it elsewhere (google it, it comes right up).
This makes me so angry! I’ve seen this kind of behavior before and it’s never pretty. I know a lawyer who says it happens all the time.
She’s obviously been rode hard and put away wet more than once. Just nasty 🙁
Dr Tara Palmatier says
I’ve seen her type before, too, Autumn, and prefer to keep my distance. A whole LOT of distance as in several light years away distance.
Funky Monk says
This video was scary for me, as I’m sure it was for most people on this site — not because of the implied violence but because of the scary connotations of the false allegations. Btw I guess it doesn’t matter how bad an actor the accuser is, just the mention of rape is enough to do a guy in…
Dr Tara Palmatier says
It oftentimes is more than enough, FM.
Yeah I’ve seen that look. Usually when wife threatened to call the police after she had endangered me and it didn’t work. Only had her to that crazed state a couple of times but very scary.This video is almost like a caricature. What is really shocking is those two guys willing to back the pscyho u but then again they do have their special way of manipulating others. With two witnesses she could have made his life real uncomfortable. Even though a physical exam would have had no evidence of rape. The accusations and fallout from that would have been bad.
Clearly spells CRAZY, even though she got a nice body, with those slutty dress… but looking at her face… (pukes)… scary and pisses me off! I’d just punch her lights out and tell her to shut the f up! But that’s me.
I hates women like this type of crazy. It amkes me not trust women anymore.
I remember my exgf. I remember feeling loving to her, grabbing her, making love, and then… passion spent, I says to her, well, you know, and then, she says, something that turned me cold. “You raped me.”
“No, I didnt’. I made LOVE to you, because I loves you.”
“No, you raped me.”
“Uh?… What the…? What are you talking about?” Yet I do remember being puzzled by her face, staring at me while I was making “love” to her… I wasn’t mean to her, I wasn’t nasty, I was just LOVING her… how can that be misconstrued as “rape”? I never raped anyone in my life, never, not by FORCE, that was not what I was feeling at all. That was my first clue to the hidden danger.
Also she was UNFAITHFUL to me, during our seven year “relationship” which she calls “partnership” where I get to carry her damned baggages, problems, etc which she refuses to fix or take care of herself, lazy shit bitch from hell!
The last laugh’s on her, though. Two years after she left me, she came back and BEGS me to fix her problem, help her get away from the very bloke she left me for in the first place. I agreed, with ADVICE only. Said she get her sister to help with finding a place so she can move out fast, and then she go back and get her stuff when he’s not there, so that’s apparently what she did.
Then, she says she regretted all the hurt she did to me, the pain of betrayals, the unfaithfulness, the booze, the drugs, that she did when I wanted to help her get well, and be healthy. And killing my babies as well.
I forgave her, up to a point. I thought she owns up to everything she did wrong. I do wonders, though.
Three more times she came back and begs me to take her back, to go back to her, but I could not. How can I? she has proven herself unworthy, being a serial unfaithful woman, and untrustworthy too, to boot. Why should I set myself up for more hurt from her? She was too old, (five years older than me) and she KILLED our babies! Her drugs/booze MIGHT have made the embryos/yolk sick or dying, so maybe her doctors claims that they was endangering her might be legitimace, but I saw no paperwork, just hearsay, from her. Nothing I could do about it.
I would have two healthy kids right now, running around… but nope, she killed them. I did not agree to it until she says that magic words about them “endangering” her life. I wanted proof, but she panics me into agreeing with the abortion. I will always regretted it for the rest of my days. I know I am guilty of killing my babies. I’m a murderer, a sinner.
Fourth time she visists, she brings her kids, T, and J, and I knew it was so she could emotionally bribe me or blackmail me into giving up and let her win, into capitulating into her request, so I’d go back to her. I REFUSED, though. I was stronger, I have learned a valuable lesson. I will never let any WOMAN push me around, tell me I thought wrong, or anything. No women shall ever tell me I am wrong in any way. I follow GOD, Lord Jesus, and no one else.
I will never trust a woman ever again.
They are SINNERS, and as such, they are not “perfect” in any way, they sweat, they shits, they farts, just like the rest of us men! They are not above the law, they are not “golden uteruses”, they are not more valuable than men, and more, they are not more valuable than children. They are SINNERS, just like we men are, and we fall short of the glory of God, and only JESUS is the way, the truth, and the life, and these women cannot DENY God, nor Lord Jesus in any way!
Women are not so special, women are not goddesses! Women are not perfect in any sense of hte word. They’re not God’s gift to anyone, nor are they’re princesses in secret, or whatever crappy cinderella’s fantasy they indulges in all their stupid pointless lives!
At last I grew up. I no longer believes women to be mysterious creatures deserving to be put on a stupid pedestal and worshiped. BAH! Women ain’t special in any way!
The only one I’d trust is the Biblical woman. Rare gems are they, called as such by God, and the best is in the Proverbs 31:10-31 KJB. I believes she exists, but in ever decreasing numbers, as more and more silly women copies this nutjob, setting up more and more men who may not know and sending them all into jails just to feed their egos, these heartless bitches from hell.
I don’t trust women anymore.
My dreams of a family, of a trustworthy wife who will say to poachers, interlopers, busybodies, to leave us alone. NO one respectrs marriage anymore. No one respects true love. It’s all about sex, sex, sex and nothing but empty, pointless “me, myself & I” selfish sex… boring!
I’m glad I learned all this, so I’ll steer clear of crazy women. Clearly, women are LOSERS when they takes the crazy route, as most of them are NUTS!
As for my ex, I DID LOVES HER, and I did not rape her in any way or iota. I had respected her, loved her, and all she do is abuse me, accused me of strange things I never did, and more than anything else, uses the children to mess me up as bargaining chips, as though that is what they was used for when in reality what she was doing hurts them too.
So that day when I said no to her begging me to take her back, seeing her face falling, accepting my choice, and still saying we can have “frineds with benefits” which I also refused. I refused on the grounds that it would be impossible to get away and keep her out of my life in any way I can. I had TOLD her if we ever SPLIT up, I will NEVER see her, EVER! I have no wish to be reminded of her constant betrayals of my love, of my faithfulness, of my trust, above all. She PROVES herself UNWORTHY of my love. WHy the hell should I go back? What for? She PROVES herself UNWORTHY! That is the point!
Women who wnats a real man like me, have to work HARD to earn my trust, my faithfulness, and most of all, my love. I don’t give it away WILLINGLY! I’m not that EASY!
I was faithful, yet she betrayed me. Never again. I rather be single and happy for the rest of my life, than be miserable in a bad relationship with an unfaithful and untrustworthy woman! EVER! EVER! EVER!
Women, wise up, or be losers! Your choice!
I’d like to thanks the Academy, the Hollywood Foreign Press ….
It’s disturbing to wonder how long this behavior has gotten her the results she wanted.
Dr Tara Palmatier says
This year, the Golden Goon award goes to . . .
That video is seriously disturbing and creepy. It is also publicly available at http://www.liveleak.com. Just search on tretola and you will find it.
So… I guess I’ll join the chorus and check in with my own false rape allegation story.
A number of years ago in a counseling session, TCL (The Crazy Lady) had a meltdown (as was her wont in counseling sessions) and declaimed that the first time we had sex was actually a rape. She had this epiphany a good decade after the fact.
Funny. I don’t remember it that way.
I remember making love to a woman that I felt very passionate about at the time. At no point in the proceedings did she in any way indicate that things had gone far enough, or that she wanted to stop, or was uncomfortable with what was happening, or the mood lighting wasn’t right, or whatever.
We later became engaged and were married. She may (or may not) go down in history as the first woman who married her alleged rapist.
I feel like I’ve heard this story before. We’ve all heard the old wisdom that girls seldom enjoy it the first time. Combine this with the new post-feminism definition of rape, and naturally we have a lot of women who have an inkling they might have been raped after first-time sex. ‘Did it feel right? If not, you might have been raped. Find a counselor to talk to. (They can inform you of how to best file a false allegation.)’
Don’t know whether she was a virgin or not before she was with you, but I’m also not sure how much it matters.
Swan Song says
This is deeply disturbing on a number of levels, not the least of which is the completely cynical attitude of the two negative advocates who were apparently willing to assist this madwoman in the crime of malicious prosecution. Her two goons don’t even have enough brains to understand who they’re helping, because if their vicious plot were to have blown up (and I hope it does), she would instantly throw them both under the bus to save her own pathetic self.
It makes you wonder how often these frame-ups are successful, how many victims carry recorders around that could prove their innocence? I’ve always believed that false accusations should be punished with the same penalty that the alleged crime would merit, that would be an equitable way to achieve justice and send a warning to fundamentally dishonest wretches.
If it hadn’t been a matter for the national headlines, I’ll bet the Duke Lacrosse players would still be rotting in jail, and Mike Nifong would be enjoying a lucrative career. Nifong should have to serve the combined time that the innocent young men he was prosecuting might have served if they were found guilty.
Disturbing, creepy, frightening, all of the above. I’d hate to think what could have happened if this guy didn’t have the presence of mind to tape this.
This sort of thing has happened to me – not the false rape accusation, thank God, but the DARVO and sheer malice at the flip of a switch, with screaming, crying, gaslighting, and acting out of the sort you see here. It’s some of the most surreal, scary, crazy making stuff you can go through.
This is so disturbing that it’s hard to watch. It’s disgusting that she would cry ‘rape.’ It is really scary that women like this have that type of control over men. I was molested when I was young for years and I was scared to tell anyone, let alone scream it on a mountain top like this idiot is doing. I will never be without a charged phone that has a video recording device on it now. Ever.
She makes me want to vomit. Those two men are not any better. I hope they rot in prison.
I don’t mean to hijack this thread, but Cracked has an interesting article on growing up in a dysfunctional home: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-stupid-habits-you-develop-growing-up-in-broken-home_p2/
Looking back, one thing that astonishes me is just how narcissistic my mother was and still is and how emotionally abusive she was of me. Same thing with my ex-wife (though she’s BPD.) One very similar thing about both my ex and my mother is how much they would try to convince me that I was remembering things wrong.
Another thing that’s interesting: we all grew up in the same church, though I stopped going ten years ago. My mother and ex use forgiveness as a weapon. Oversimplifying, they claim that they’ve repented of some wrong doing and said they are sorry, so the fault is now mine for not forgiving and forgetting.
Seriously disturbing but not entirely shocking. Two months after I moved in with my now-husband of 5 years, his NPD ex went off the rails. I mean, she became so unhinged that my husband would dare move on with is life, she created drama at every CO access he had. She would phone our home obsessively while his kids were with us. One thanksgiving weekend, she called our house 22 times to “talk” to the kids who were then 2 and 4. Many times she would not let DH have his access weekend. It just went on and on.
She always had a “friend” there to help her because she was “scared” of my DH. It didnt take long before he had been arrested and spent a week in jail undergoing a psychological evaluation because her words alone put him there. She was “afraid” for her life and the life of her children. Such an expert at DARVO, she could get a PHd in it!
He lost visitation with his kids for 2 months (during the christmas holidays) and when he finally got visitation back it was supervised at the Family Service Building. Every second Sunday for 4 months I watched him pack a suitcase with toys and books to play with his children for a meager 2 hours. A man who had been so involved in the daily care of his children before his divorce was now suddenly the enemy. It was so sad to watch her try to ruin the man I love by taking his children from him. Many times at that point, I thought if I just left that maybe she would stop her false accusations and drama. But I couldn’t…I just loved him so much. She finally dropped the death threat accusation when she found out he would lose his job and the Child support and spousal support checks would stop. She was so good at creating chaos and then playing the victim, she had his family, friends, prosecutor, everyone eating out of her hands.
This is very concerning on so many levels. First, 3 psychos barge into this guy’s room, and threaten him. Second, 2 of the accomplices are men (Manginas). Third, she shows great contempt for not only the man (tenant) but for all women by making the false rape allegation. Fourth, the tenant seems to be renting a room from her/them and is probably financially strapped/trapped. Fifth, without the video it would be 3 against 1 and he’d be incarcerated for sure. Sixth, you will almost never, ever see a man barge into a woman’s room with 2 women accomplices. Just never happens, essentially making it a hate/gender crime IMO.
Digressing a bit here, nearly 1 out of 100 American citizens is incarcerated. We have the highest incarceration rate in the world. Men receive substantially harsher penalties than women for the same crimes. Nearly 1 of 31 adults (3.1%) of the adult U.S. population is incarcerated, on parole, or on probation.
Rates of incarceration:
The U.S. has approximately 5% of the world’s total population, yet has 23% of the world’s prison/jail population. We imprison more people than Russia and Rwanda.
DOES SOMETHING SEEM WRONG IN THE UNITED STATES?
I suspect this is mainly due to the inane “War on Drugs” which requires judges to give stronger sentences for possession than many other crimes. It isn’t unusual to see a longer sentence for dealing crack than for rape. Now that’s messed up.
Wow….Wow…That video was really scary. It’s scary because of how accurately it portrays the danger of false allegations. It represents just how quickly that poor man’s life could be changed forever. It also shows how sometimes negative advocates or “white knights” who are really goons/thugs can be brought it to facilitate this kind of criminal activity. To me what is really even more scary is when these types of criminals are smarter, prettier, or in positions of power. Imagine for a moment if the crazy woman was smarter, prettier, a better actor, or more articulate. Imagine if the goons were police officers, a security guard, or even a judge. If you think that crazy woman and her goons are scary, it could have been even worse with more capable criminals. Sadly, I’m speaking not hypothetically. My ex wife is a professional victim like this and an extremely high functioning BPD. She is extremely pretty, smart, articulate, and an incredibly good actress. She was able to convince an old judge to be her white knight. Now that’s really scary. A judge doesn’t need evidence. He can choose to disregard evidence if he deems fit. He can choose to believe allegations that have no evidence if he deems fit. He can choose to follow the law, legal precedents, use logic and reason, or he can choose not to. What’s even worse, your ability to appeal your case (in California) is really stacked against you. In my case, I was told by my family law appeals attorney that it’s very very clear that the judge was in the wrong, but it would cost minimally $40K to appeal the case and my chance of winning would be around 5-10%. In appeals court, the burden of proof is on you. It was explained to me that if 99 out of 100 judges would agree with you, but only one would not, the decision will hold and you will lose. Now how is that for real world scary?
I have never been able to comprehend the sheer stupidity of people. The man in the white shirt is standing directly beside her when she begins her accusation of rape. He witnesses what actually happened.
Then at the end he ASKS if the tenant touched her. “Did you put your hands on her? Did you touch her?” …You were THERE, IN THE ROOM with her. You saw with your own two eyes what happened. Yet somehow just minutes later the reality of what you saw has vanished, and is replaced by the fantasy of her sobs. How do people forget reality THAT QUICKLY?!?
On another aspect, perhaps someone can enlighten me if there is ever a normal reason for someone to get in the face and be confrontational with someone that they are “afraid” of. She’s sobbing that he’s hurting her and doing so with their faces just inches apart. In the video she’s clearly the aggressor, and my ex would regularly do the same thing. Be physically aggressive while voicing the roll of the victim. Yet I’ve seen the same thing play out numerous times in the court house. Women belittling their former spouse, finger in the face, accusing the man of being mean to them. I’ve always wondered if there was ever a time when a true victim would approached their aggressor in such a manner, or if it was only ever a tactic used by people attempted to feign victimhood.
thank you for the site. I was married to a BPD women. Separated several times, divorced for 18 months, and I still allowed her to suck me back into her life. Five months ago, she became violent and hit me. I slapped her. She went to the neighbors and called 911. I waited for them to talk to her and then come talk to me. They gang tackled me, cuffed me and read me my rights before i got off the ground. She told them i threatened to kill her with a gun. I was charged with domestic abuse battery and aggravated assault. I’m an RN and my license is in jeopardy. I’ve been trying to get my life back together. My family is 800 miles away. I just found this site and your BPD description fits her to a T! I can’t believe I’ve been grieving over this crazy bitch all this time. I think she is seeing someone else which really bothered me until now. I need to send him a thank you/sympathy card for keeping her away from me. Normally, she would have been stalking me and begging for me to come back. Thanks again, for helping me realize I’m not the crazy one. I can definitely let her go and never look back. Hopefully, i can get the charges dropped next month at the pretrial hearing. I wish you could be an expert witness.
Another thing i wanted to mention. Your article describing the warning signs during courtship that are run like hell now signs, are precisely what went on with her. I new there were red flags, but ignored them. I didn’t know exactly what they were, just gut feelings and certainly didn’t know about BPD. Thanks again. I feel liberated and free from her bondage. Hopefully, when the court issue is finished i can get back to my family before she comes knocking on my door. After all, she knows she still has control and can inflict pain. Once it’s over and her control is completely gone, who knows what she will do.