Believe it or not, I receive messages from men asking for help that run something along the lines of, “Hey, she slashed my tires, had sex with my nephew and cleaned out my bank account. Should I consider getting out of this relationship?”
Oh boy.
In fact, many of the men seeking assistance for problems with women like this are men who, if hearing their own stories from any other man, would be screaming “Get out! Run!!” But when it comes to saying goodbye to the abusive, unstable women in their own lives, they have the sad and self-destructive tendency to make excuses, enable and stay.
There are several cultural and psychological reasons for this, which are discussed in this video.
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Counseling with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
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A borderline entrapped me with pregnancy 15 years ago. I moved to another state before the child was born ( She knew I was leaving, hence the entrapment.) Nonetheless, she’s used the child to manipulate and exploit me emotionally and financially. I’m now married with another child and a successful career. This drove her over the edge (as did a failed relationship), and she drug me through hell using the child support courts, even though I was willing to increase my support. It defied reason. It further damaged my relationship with my son, as she used him to manipulate information out of me for her case.
As soon we settled I received texts from my son ( I suspect it was actually his mother), stating he no longer wants me in his life. At this point, my wife and I have had enough. Losing my son may be the price I pay to remove his mother from our life. My wife believes his mother will return, and there are already signs she is probing for ways to do this by contacting my mother and sister, who are both sad that my son is no longer contacting them, but are also aware how troubled she is. My lawyer warns that she will use the court system to stay in my life as long as she can. I believe this is true because to her, my son has always been a way of staying in my life, and not about me being in his. In fact, I suspect her court case was motivated by the fact that my son was flying to se me, and I no longer was interacting with her. My wife worries that my son’s mother may grow so frustrated that she will eventually try to hurt use beyond financially.
One thing for sure, borderline will bring nothing but misery into your life.