When looking for potential love relationships, many of my codependent and trauma bond-prone clients confuse emotional intensity and emotional intimacy. There’s a big difference. Emotional intensity is like a wildfire and emotional intimacy is like a hearth fire. One destroys lives; the other can warm your soul. Oftentimes, dysfunctional, toxic and/or personality disordered individuals are highly […]
Self-Care Basics: Love Yourself Enough to Leave [Meme]
You’re no more likely to get the love, decency, acceptance and empathy you want from your narcissistic, borderline, psychopathic, alcoholic, toxic spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend as an adult then you were able to get that love as a child from a similarly troubled parent. The first step to self-care is loving yourself enough to say, “No more” no […]
That’s Not Normal: “I Did Everything for Her!” [Meme]
During the early stages of therapy, I commonly have some version of the following exchange with clients: New client: “I did everything for her! I gave her my heart and soul! At the end, she said I didn’t do anything for her!” Me: “Why did you keep giving, doing, sacrificing, spending when she was so […]
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