You are a very comfortable, married woman with children. You have a good roof over your head, help with childcare, maybe even assistance with housecleaning and other drudgeries of daily life. All courtesy of a husband with a profession that pays for all of those very nice conveniences.
The challenge becomes what to do with your leisure time, which is now pretty much all your time. You register with Cafemom.com or some other mommy blogging site where you can spend hours a day trashing your husband and picking at all his flaws, thereby proving to the world that you don’t pay that much attention to your children, who also have flaws you want to over share.
Or, your husband divorced you or you divorced him and you spend much of your days on Pinterest, Twitter and other social media complaining about what a “deadbeat” he is. Never mind that he’s actually working a full-time job and a part-time job to pay you spousal and child support as you spend your days Tweeting and posting “Moms do it all” memes on Facebook while your kids are in school the better part of the day.
Perhaps once you grow tired of using the free time whingeing about the man who provides you the opportunity to do so for hours on end, you can start a flame war attacking stepmothers, for not being “real” mothers; for being less than you are as a biological mother. It is Golden Uterus Heaven!
At this point you know you’ve hit pay dirt. You can spend all your time complaining about your privileged life, and you will get a ton of support from it from your fellow Mommy Bloggers. What’s not to like?
Well, except you.
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Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
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Yup! Bust year butt trying to make it work and she resents the hell out of you making it hard to sabotage your efforts. In fact resentment is all you will get. If my ex to be could only see the contradiction in her words and actions over time. How disappointing she’s been for me.