This is a BlogTalkRadio program that aired in May 2012. It discusses the hard realities of high-conflict divorce and custody cases and parallel parenting vs. co-parenting. It also discusses setting boundaries and expectations for minor children and adult children who are manifesting the effects of parental alienation. Insisting your children treat you with the love and respect you show them is not synonymous with giving up on your kids.
Counseling with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
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Thanks for your continued excellent work!
Parental Alienation is real, and we must raise awareness. Anyone married to a high-conflict spouse should do everything they can to protect themselves and their kids prior to divorce/separation. Here is a video I put together to help others in similar situations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRPPlAq-kF8
Great show again, Dr T! I liked the part where you said that many of your clients divorce because they want their kids to see how normal relationships work. That really resonated with me.
My husband and I just got around to listening to these shows. We were out of town on a delightful trip to Europe when they originally aired.
In our situation, we kind of have divorced the kids… or maybe they divorced us. My husband’s daughters haven’t talked to him in over 7 years. His former stepson, who had been talking to us for awhile, soon made it clear that he was just after money. When we busted him over a sneaky, underhanded plan he had to screw my husband over, we quit giving him his “child support” (the “kid” was 21 years old and not even legally my husband’s son). When it became clear he wasn’t going to get any money from us anymore, he quit talking to us. It was probably the nicest thing he’s ever done for us.
Lately, my husband and his parents have found some rather provocative things on the Internet about my husband’s ex. My husband’s stepmom was all upset because she’d found something posted by the ex’s third husband indicating that he intended to legally adopt my husband’s now adult daughters. My husband has the ex and her clan blocked on Facebook, but he unblocked #3 temporarily. There was a clickable link on the ex’s current husband’s Facebook that said “The most inspiring woman I know”. My husband clicked it and was taken to his ex wife’s “public figure” page. Apparently, she’s making a go at local politics in her most recent hometown.
I think she puts this stuff out there for my husband’s benefit, trying to show him that she’s flourishing without him and perhaps hoping he’ll engage. We’ve basically ignored her and the kids. I’ve pointed out to my husband many times that any contact he has with his now adult kids will surely mean contact with his psycho ex wife and added drama. We know from watching her pattern with her first ex husband that she has no qualms about re-engaging if she thinks she can and it’ll be worth her while. We don’t want to give her any permission to re-engage in our lives, even if it does mean “divorcing the kids”.
Meanwhile, though the ex’s actions are hurtful, we’re enjoying our lives together, especially since child support is no longer an issue. Sometimes “divorcing the kids” can be very healthy.