Many clients wrongly believe that setting boundaries with a borderline or narcissistic partner will magically fix the relationship. It won’t. Nevertheless, boundaries are essential—I encourage every client to set them. But I also stress two things: It won’t be easy—for them or their disordered partner. Setting boundaries is usually the beginning of the end. To […]
Custody Exchange Ambush: How to Handle a High-Conflict Ex
If a high-conflict ex can’t provoke you over text or email anymore, guess where they’ll try to engage you next? That’s right—the custody exchange. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic (NPD) or borderline (BPD) ex, custody hand-offs can become an opportunity for yet another one of their power struggles. And with these types, anything and […]
Why DBT Fails in BPD Relationships: The Theory vs. Reality Gap
For the past 20 years, I’ve worked with countless men navigating relationships with women who exhibit Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), or other high-conflict personality traits. A recurring theme? The massive gap between what therapists claim should work and what happens in real life outside the therapy office. […]
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