False allegations and baseless restraining orders are known to be common tactics used by high-conflict women and men (primarily women) and negative advocate attorneys to gain an advantage in divorce and custody cases.
It happens. We know it happens. And we know that most false accusers are rarely prosecuted for this criminal offense.
In March 2011, a BlogTalkRadio program aired called, Cry Rape! The Plague of False Allegations with guest E. Steven Berkimer (False Rape Society). I called in (68:20 on the counter) to ask why men aren’t suing women who make false allegations against them in civil court if family court and the police won’t hold these women accountable and prosecute them.
Looks like the inevitable has finally happened.
Last month, a judge awarded Daryl Ginyard of Severn, Maryland $852,000 in damages for the false light cast upon him and other punitive damages he incurred after his wife, Amani Ginyard, falsely accused him of sexually abusing their daughters.
$852,000.
Almost forgot to mention that this decision came more than a year after another county circuit judge awarded Mr Ginyard full custody of his children.
$852,000 and full custody to father because mother lied.
Not just any lie, the most despicable lie a parent can manufacture about the other parent. The lie that puts you on the sex offenders list. The lie that costs you your job. The lie that that makes it impossible to find a job. The lie that turns you into prison meat if you go to jail.
$852,000 seems paltry in comparison to the often irreparable damage caused by this kind of lie, but it’s a victory and it’s a good start.
And so it begins. . .
The Ginyards divorced in 2005. Two months into their equal time custody agreement, Christmas arrived and trouble ensued. Mr Ginyard was supposed to have the girls for the holiday, but his ex-wife decided she wanted the children for the day.
Rather than stick to the custody arrangement she presumably agreed to during their divorce, Ms Ginyard called the police and reported that the children were “in trouble” and that Mr Ginyard was trying to leave town with with them unlawfully.
Ms Ginyard didn’t stop there.
HometownAnnapolis reports:
The following February, on Valentine’s Day, Ginyard had custody over his eldest daughter while his ex-wife had their youngest girl. After that visit, it was alleged that Ginyard sexually abused his eldest daughter during the visit. The allegations were investigated and ruled unfounded.
Over the next two years Ginyard was accused of sexually assaulting both daughters seven more times. All of the accusations were ruled unfounded. He testified last week that as the allegations accumulated, questioning by detectives went from hour-long talks to two- to three-hour interrogations.
During the investigations, he lost custody of his children. After an allegation in March 2006, Ginyard wasn’t allowed to see his girls for nine months. Starting in September 2007, following a separate allegation, he went six weeks without being allowed to see his girls.
Mr Ginyard also lost his job as a result of Ms Ginyard’s false allegations. In 2006, Mr Ginyard’s employer was notified of a court subpoena for a child sexual assault and the bank he worked for let him go. He wasn’t able to find work at another bank until this past January 2011.
That’s almost 5 years out of work because of Ms Ginyard’s lies.
Ms Guinyard made a total of 8 false allegations. The girls told every child therapist, evaluator and court-appointed official they saw that no abuse took place.
Over 5 years from the time his nightmare began, Mr Ginyard was reunited with his girls. HometownAnnapolis reports:
In February 2010, after a two-day trial, Circuit Court Judge Paul F. Harris Jr. ruled that the allegations were false and that Ginyard did nothing to his children. Harris reversed the earlier custody decision, giving primary custody to Darryl Ginyard. The girls’ mother now gets visitation.
Lawrence-Whittaker [Ginyard’s attorney] said the case since has gone to the Court of Special Appeals, which upheld Harris’ ruling.
Much like Tracy West, who staged her own rape scene and made false allegations against her son’s father to deny him access, Ms Ginyard also gets visitation. A mother who put her girls through needless hours of of questioning and evaluations and who deliberately told the most horrific lies about their father, gets visitation. What does it take for a family court judge to deny access to a mother hellbent on alienation?
Even though Mr Ginyard has his daughters back and almost a million dollars in damages, there are lingering effects of Ms Ginyard’s lies. Also from HometownAnnapolis:
Ginyard testified that the years of false allegations damaged his relationship with his daughters. He said he has become withdrawn with the girls and is afraid to do things normal parents do – like hug or snuggle with his children while watching a movie.
“I don’t let them stay in my room a lot,” he said. “I have to distance myself from them, no matter how much I care about them, because of the way things have transpired.
“… I don’t want to put myself into a position like that at all.”
This may be the most heartbreaking side effect of the lie. Mr Ginyard is afraid to show his own children affection, to be close to them. He has to squelch his natural affection for the girls.
Is Ms Ginyard sorry for lying and the pain and damage she caused? Here’s what her attorney had to say on her behalf:
Amani Ginyard’s attorney, Michael G. Morin, said Darryl Ginyard did not suffer enough to get the money he was demanding.
He said his client didn’t publicly accuse her ex-husband.
“He has suffered zero damages except his ego,” Morin said.
He called Ginyard’s lawsuit “a shot at the lottery.”
Wow. Just. Wow. Not sorry. Not at all. If I’d been a juror and heard that bit of remorseless sociopathy, I’d have multiplied Mr Ginyard’s award by 1000.
Moral of the story.
Sometimes you shouldn’t drop the rope. Sometimes you have to fight back. Sometimes fighting back works. If the family court and criminal courts won’t do their jobs and help protect men in similar situations, perhaps civil court can.
$852,000 is a small amount compared to the pain, humiliation and time Mr Ginyard lost with his daughters. It’s also a small amount when you consider that his relationship with the girls may be forever altered. He’s afraid to hug them. He’s afraid snuggle up and watch a movie with them.
No, $852,000 is not enough, but it’s a good start.
False accusers beware. It just might cost you more than a slap on the wrist and a trip to your local community counseling center.
Counseling with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Coaching individuals through high-conflict divorce and custody cases is also an area of expertise. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for more information.
Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.
Stellar article Dr. T. And I will be linking it to men who take the position (on the comments on my site) that you can’t fight back. Yes, you can! You won’t always win, but all we need to put a huge dent in false allegations is a long string of cases where the false accuser pays a hefty price for their misdeeds.
Thanks for covering this important story, Dr. Palmatier!
Thanks, Paul. I stumbled across this story while doing research for another article. Definitely a “feel good” news item.
Thank you for dropping by!
I find it disturbing that the court system has been deemed a tool in which someone can manipulate for one’s selfish reasons. If I had to guess, I would say it started when divorce courts became incredibly biased in favor of women. The “take him to the cleaners” mentality is prevalent in society. Has the passive-aggressive nature in some women been red-lining and continuing to red-line in younger generations since feminism became mainstream in the 1960s? My observations tell me women are getting the message from somewhere/someone who tells them they should feel good about hurting men as often and brutally as possible.
Since I am new to this website, I am not sure if what I just said is considered unacceptable content for this website. If so, please let me know.
Hi SROR,
You’re most welcome here and I think you raise some good points. It’s sick that something very sad, which is what divorce is even when it’s for the best, has become in at least 30% of cases (estimated percentage of high-conflict cases) an excuse to loot and pillage a former partner.
Dr T, even sadder is the fact that for an HCP that’s been looting and pillaging her partner for years, it’s her last chance to fleece him in a major way (e.g. home, bank accounts, retirement funds etc.), and she’ll go after that opportunity with unbridled energy and enthusiasm. My ex actually displayed a childish glee each time she managed to get an increased settlement proposal – and then refused it and raised the bar even further.
Divorce ishould be sad, but for my ex, she had the time of her life.
Just like my FI´s ex. It´s like the divorce makes her thrive.
*Finally* all eyes was on her, everybody would listen and she would play her part of woe be me to perfection.
It´s like she was born to be the “betrayed wife”.
And again I marvel at the fact that all these women seems to be created equal; using the same tactics, the same trics, the same argumentation.
They really are very simple and should be easy to deal with… Why aren´t they?
It’s about time. We need to see much more of this, plus criminal prosecution of the women who make these abominable false accusations.
Agreed, SN.
Awesome.
Ditto.
He was accused eight times and each time the accusations were found to be unfounded ? Eight times ? 100+ grand each time. I wonder if she actually paid it.
Hi dislocatedman,
If she didn’t, I sure as heck hope Mr Ginyard is garnishing her spousal support and/or got to reclaim his retirement or whatever else she took from him in their divorce settlement. Seems only fair.
Mr Ginyard was “…almost 5 years out of work because of Ms Ginyard’s lies” and her attorney claims “He has suffered zero damages except his ego” on account of her unfounded allegations of sexual abuse? Umm, hello… between the lost earnings, the damage to his reputation, and the horrific strife it caused with his daughters, I feel that the award of $852,000 was definitely not enough.
The most heartening thing about this story is that, for once, the Golden Uterus didn’t get away with it, but got a taste of her own medicine instead. Maybe there is hope for our legal system after all.
Thanks for such an uplifting article, Dr. T.
Hi Free at Last,
The original suit was for $13 million, so the $852,000 (a lot of money for many people, including me) is really a pittance, but, like I said, it’s a good start.
Research shows that the only kind of punishment that has any effect on unempathic sociopaths is monetary. If Ms Ginyard is one of these types, then I’d say this hit her where it hurts most.
Women like this fill me with RAGE!! How dare she! I hope every woman who’s ever experienced actual molestation and rape rips her to shreds…she makes a mockery of actual violent crimes against all mankind.
Personally, (i know this is vindictive and wrong)…[removed].
What the MRM needs to do is to create ONE group that is actually effective. Barring that, “someone” should start building a war chest to fund civil lawsuits, a sorta of Anti-Defamation League for falsely accused men.
There must be some deep-pocket ordinary Joes out there. Plus not a few celebrity males who’ve felt the lash of ms-guided feminism (Burt Reynolds, Alec Baldwin, Mel Gibson, etc.) who’d love to help.
It’s all about money, fellas. It’s what allows toxic women to make their accusations. They have DV shelter lawyers and legal-beagle manginas willing to go after men because, well, that’s where the money is.
Plus there’s surely a way cyber-savvy men can find out the names of those “too good to be named in court” feminuts who bring false accusations of abuse, violence, molestation, and rape. A good dose of public exposure might stop their smirks a mite.
The problem is, most men’s groups eschew mass media, yet somehow expect to grow. Or they are led by leaders who’d rather be small frogs in tiny ponds than effective.
Years ago I did local-regional-national TV and radio shows. One rich retired pilot in the audience offered to tithe the group I shilled for. Another listener offered his farm as a shelter for abused men. Etc.
So what did my so-called “leader” do? Why he pulled the plug on ME!
He told me to stop doing interviews.
A-hole!
I’d lined up a dozen more TV appearances (exposure begets exposure) and suddenly…kaput!
I did “good show.” The producers, mostly female, loved me. It didn’t matter if they disagreed with my politics. I made their jobs easier. Plus they talk to each other, in-the-trade. They share “good guest” lists. So I went from being in-demand to being ignored…all because the “leader” of my group thought he was losing his status. He didn’t want anyone horning-in on his kingship.
Men are too often their own worst enemy.
Hopefully the Internet is changing all that, bringing more and more equality, even to the MRM.
Actually she should be prosecuted and convicted and imprisoned for filing false police reports. If a man had falsely accused a woman of these same crimes on eight separate occasions and each time the accusations were determined to be unfounded he would be rotting in prison. Another case of society’s double standard. I would venture to wager she never pays one dime of this award.
My ex called the police seven times on me in our first year of separation. She claimed child abduction. She had a temporary restraining order on me for a false claim. Via the courts she was able to get the TRO extended two months because of delays in getting a hearing, until it finally got to the DA who dropped it within 20 seconds of meeting me. The cost to our sons: exchanges via police officers in the winter cold, taken away for 12 days from their father. The cost to her, nothing. The cost to me, $10k of legal expenses to have my attorney go to court for me so that I could keep my job. How do you proceed to suing back?
This is a fantastic article. So glad to see the tide slowly turning towards giving fathers and children the rights they deserve. To falsely accuse another of such a heinous crime is worse than awful. That the family courts seem to encourage this type of behavior is beyond disturbing as well.
Interestingly, I – the woman/mama – experienced the false allegations from my ex-husband. After struggling for 10 years in an emotionally & sexually abusive marriage and giving nothing but pure devotion to my step-daughter, they colluded together and lied to the police so that, when I called the police to help take me and my 3 year old to the women’s shelter that had a spot waiting for us, I was the one arrested and taken away from my daughter. She is six now and is STILL dealing with the emotional scars from the trauma of my being arrested and then kept away from her for three weeks because he filed a false restraining order against me to strengthen the lie they had told to the police.
He had been accused falsely by his 1st wife and I had done all I could to befriend his ex-wife so that he would have equal access to his young daughter. The ex-wife had been ugly and vindictive – totally supported by the courts in this behavior of course – but I saw in his eyes how much he loved his daughter and how much his daughter loved him. I took being a step-mom very seriously and called her the daughter of my heart. To have them both betray me and send me to jail (the step-daughter was 18 at the time) was an awful blow to my heart not to mention the negative effects my false arrest had on my little girl, family and job. The FELONY charges of child abuse were dropped by the D.A. when the lies came out – thanks be to God and my lawyer. In this case, the family court favoring the Mom worked in our favor and helped us escape from the abuse. Even then I was still advocating for his rights. Now, three years later, he has remarried a younger woman and hasn’t bothered to see our daughter even once in the last year. *sigh*
Anyway, it makes me really angry when women use the system to lie and even angrier that the family court systems let’s them get away with it. The long and short of this is men have rights and I would like to see more men stand up for their rights as a Daddy ’cause your kids really do need you too. Children deserve and have the right to a relationship with BOTH their parents whenever possible.
btw – Your comment, “Research shows that the only kind of punishment that has any effect on unempathic sociopaths is monetary.” really hit home with me. It explains why my ex (a true sociopath) traded joint custody for sole custody when I told him he didn’t have to pay any support if he gave me sole custody … and so he did. Amusingly enough, the ex-wife and I are now very close friends. I guess nothing brings two women closer together than marrying and divorcing the same man! (haha)
this is a great outcome. the problem is the justice system serves the wealthy. a case like this costs $20-$30k minimum, to start. my reality, 11 months after false allegations, is: $22,000 in attorney’s fees, 3 hearings, 2 court orders for “immediate therapy and psychiatric evaluations” for mother and daughter. so far, 8 months after filing in court, my daughter has been to 2 therapy sessions with 2 different therapists. and my daughter missed 34 days of school between thanksgiving 2012 and may 15 2013. it’s like trying to turn the titanic with a row boat.
Yep…yep…and yep..
Even in 2015 this stuff is still happening in our system.
I have soon to be ex-wife that i’ve come to learn has been plotting for some time.
She managed to get a shaded attorney that has coached her on how to go about
the devious plan and securing a false TRO and how to use it against me.
So when divorce talks started (we have 4 yr old twins so ive delayed for some time) my wife was demanding 60/40 split of home, 95% custody of kids, and give outright the deluxe 2010 van. when i said that wasn’t fair and some of these things will be figured out by the courts.
She said “IF YOU DONT AGREE I WILL CAUSE BIG TROUBLE FOR YOU”!
All along mind you she kept saying dont get an attorney we can settle and save money using mediator (looking back this was also part of her plan).
Then a few days later came the TRO, I got kicked out of the home that had only my name on it, i left with the old 2002 car, was only able to gather few things, and note that i have 14 yr old from previous marriage that basically was kicked out as well. We both had to fin a hotel late at night and many nights to follow.
i had about 2.5 weeks before the set court date to find a attorney, write up my answers to her declaration of many lies.
I had no idea how all this worked, was basically in shock of it all. The attorney i found had some good reviews on the internet…
But soon i found that he was aggressive in charging for many things that he wasn’t really getting done and for some things wrongful charges all together.
The day before the court day I hadn’t heard anything from my attorney so i went to his office (of course more charges) and asked what the status of things were and his feelings on my case with all the information i had provided and declaration of my answers to her lies..Heck, i was out of town for some of the accusations my wife made.
My attorney said to me “I REALLY HAVNT LOOKED AT ANY OF YOUR DATA YET!:…
what a shocker and scared me to hear this but what am i to do with court in 16 hrs away.
Well in court (since my attorney wasnt prepared at all) he asked for a long cause date to submit proof at later date….the court came back with 1st available date being over 4 months away… this ended up being only one of the many things my attorney did wrong.
Looking back now, ive learned that he SHOULD have filed a DV-120 reply to TRO and COULD have tried to plead to drop RO based on no evidence from my wife…..I dont think there was anything to loose. The court most likely would have dropped the TRO, and if they didnt then we could of at that time asked for ectension on TFO to gather more facts to properly counter the false claims..
So here i am Feb 2015, the court date that was suppose to happen will not, the court sent out notice that they are pushing out the date to April now..
I think i am setting a new record for how long a Temporary RO is lasting?
I do have another attorney and at times seems to do good job but then at other times not…….what am i to do?
Where do you go to find a good attorney that isnt just after the money?
I have so many battles now…….
My wife is squatting in my home that is costing me over $3600 month, while she is collecting rent money from numerous renters since it is a big home.
She is hiding ALL her assets, she has almost 2 million her and in china..
Ive been busy fighting to keep medical insurance active for the family since I lost my job about a year ago and have been on disability from accident i had while working on my house.
I have battle to fight with high charges from 1st crooked attorney—guess i am going to file complain with state bar.
All these battles and money flowing out like water…..while she had the kids and luxury home free of charge and about 4k of rent income.
What a wonderful country it has turned into. Guilty till proven innocent.
And after the TRO is secured so easy with a bunch of lies, there are many connecting features that go with it that has very negative effects.
Cant see my kids but for 2 hrs each Sunday (i have to pay $122) and they often say odd things to me that my wife has coached them to say…
I can only imagine what all she is saying to my daughters, the school (that i cant communicate with due to TRO), neighbors and whom ever else.
It really is sicking.
I have spent a fortune and it aint over yet…I keep thinking my poor girls and son, all that ive lost they have incured losses too.
But heck, the wife is living it up, and how powerful she must feel by now. It was so easy to do this. I’m fearful what else she will make up in the future.
Currently the attorney’s are trying to work out a deal….thats right. My RO is up for sale. If i pay my wife enough EXTRA money then she will agree to drop the RO.
What a great country we live in…
RO extortion