Ever feel like you and the narcissistic or borderline spouse or ex are speaking two different languages? That, even though you’re technically using the same words, they have different meanings?
If so, it’s probably because their definitions of, for example, “co-parenting” and “abuse” are much different than the definitions found in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary.
This can be frustrating, crazy-making and expensive. Particularly if you’re embroiled in a high-conflict divorce and custody case. It can be challenging to try to explain to a guardian ad litem that when the ex-wife accuses you of being “abusive,” what she actually means is, “He told me no! I can’t control him anymore! I don’t get my way all the time anymore! WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Or, that when they claim you’re “not co-parenting” that it means, again, you’re not following orders and ceding them unilateral decision-making power.
However, once you crack the code and understand what they mean vs. what they say, dealing with them won’t ever be pleasant. But, it can become a whole lot less crazy-making and stressful for you and that’s what matters most.
Translating Crazy: Narcissist and Borderline Buzz Words and Phrases
Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.
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