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Helping men in abusive relationships since 2009.

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November 4, 2019

That’s Not Normal: False Equivalencies in Relationships with Narcissists and Borderlines

This anecdote is from the client files. First, this man isn’t a porn addict. In other words, he wasn’t watching pornography 24 hours a day, 7 days awake. He also prefers having sex with an actual woman to viewing Internet porn). However, he was is a sexless marriage for years and didn’t want to cheat. That meant taking things into his own hands and taking care of himself. Literally.

His likely narcissistic wife had to control that, too. She accused him of being an ungodly pervert for watching porn and masturbating. She also insisted that both pornography and masturbation (solo, not in the company of another adult) constitutes infidelity.

So, she slept with his best friend and claimed it wasn’t as bad as his porn watching. Furthermore, his occasional porn watching drove her to sleep with his now former best friend. It’s all his fault! In all likelihood, she was already screwing around on him. The intermittent porn consumption was the after the fact excuse.

Not only is that not normal thinking, it’s a big box of WTF.

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Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

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