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Helping men in abusive relationships since 2009

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October 9, 2019

That’s Not Normal: Seeking Love and Rationality from People Who Are Capable of Neither

Seeking love, rationality, kindness, compassion, fairness, integrity and maturity from people who don’t possess these qualities is an example of codependency and trauma bonding in action. Desperation and wishful thinking won’t change a thing. Rather, they keep you stuck in enabling  your own abuse.

Pursuing people who reject you, “rescuing” people who go from self-created drama to self-created and trying to prove your worth to people who are characterologically disturbed is guaranteed to result in more pain and disappointment.

When has trying to understand and change a selfish, cruel, irrational person into giving, kind, reasonable person ever worked for you? Did it work with your mother or father? The kid who bullied you in high school? Any of your exes?

Alright then. Why not consider why you continue to fix broken people instead of understanding and healing yourself? If you do, you’ll be more likely to choose friends and lovers who are good to go right out of the box and don’t require “fixing.”

Participate in the Facebook discussion here.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

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Filed Under: Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Codependent, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Meme, Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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