This BlogTalkRadio program aired in April 2012. It discusses the tendency many men, particularly codependent men, have of placing women on pedestals. Healthy women don’t want to be worshiped; immature and/or narcissistic women do. So do narcissistic men for that matter.
Men and women may benefit from a better understanding of what it means to place women on a pedestals and and how it’s destructive to relationships. You’re unlikely to have an equitable relationship if one person is raised up high while the other is laid low.
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Should be an interesting show. Maybe next week you could cover what it means when they put you on a pedestal. At the end, my exgf went through a grocery list of many of the nice things I’d done for her and what she lost after we broke up. It made my head swim. If I was all that and more, why would she have ever walked away?
Oh yeah, she didn’t trust me.
Hi Mellaril,
Actually, I’ll be addressing this topic tonight. Hope to see you in the chat room!
Can you provide a link or instructions to the “chat room?”
Hi NaturalSam,
Sure thing, just click on this link (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/avoiceformen/2012/04/03/get-her-off-that-pedestal)and it will take you to the show page on BlogTalkRadio.
I usually open the chat room, which is located on the show page, 5 minutes before the program begins. If you arrive to the page before that, just refresh your browser when the program begins and the chat room should load.
Just occurred to me – if it’s not too late, the following couple Barenaked Ladies songs may be all too appropriate for tonight’s show:
“Call and Answer” and “If I Had a Million Dollars”
I had long considered them a bit obsessive, but after the last year or so, and especially your recent shows… yeesh….
Great suggestions, xnook. Paul and I take turns choosing topics and music selections. This week is his turn to choose the topic and the tunes.
BNL takes me back to college. I’m suddenly thirsty for a beer.
Boy I wish I was home to hear this. I am going through a break up in which I feel emotionally and physically drained. I put my ex on the highest pedestal possible. She comes from a broken home of the father cheating on the mother. I tried everything in my power to show her how a lady is supposed to be treated. However, she checked out and progressively became verbally abusive and just flat out mean (belittling me and name calling).
After reading several articles about controlling women, I do believe her issues with her father leaving her at a young age and still rejecting her to this day, has damaged her beyond repair. She controls every aspect of her life. Including me, before she pushed me to a breaking point.
If a girl I knew “liked,” a Facebook status of mine, she’d lose her marbles!! But if some guy wrote something flirtatious on her wall, it was okay. The double standards really pissed me off. My self dignity is barely in tact and I even found myself defending her behavior. I do love her, and wish she would get professional help. But she refuses to talk about anything involving emotions. Unfortunately, what she is looking for in a relationship, does not exist. It’s 50/50. This website has saved my life!
Hi Camron15,
I will post the embed shortly. Even though you’re hurting right now, the break-up is probably for the best. Time to focus on you instead of putting all your energy into making someone happy who most likely isn’t capable of it.
She sounds exactly like my ex. She wanted to control every aspect of her life and mine, and the double standards were exactly the same. She pretty much didn’t want me associating with any females besides her. Then one day she casually mentioned there’s a guy at work who she eats lunch alone with once a week. Honestly, I wouldn’t really mind this since I was pretty sure it was innocent and platonic, but I couldn’t stand the hypocrisy of it. She hadn’t even bothered to mention this for so long, and all the while she had been telling me to unfriend most of my female friends on Facebook and to stop attending social events where females would be present (and eventually all social events period).
Luckily, even at the time, I did draw a line (one which I would have drawn at a different point now, certainly) and didn’t just do whatever she wanted unquestioningly, but I have to admit I did give in a few times and deleted a few friends on FB, to “prove how much more important she was to me than those people”. It was pointless, though, since she just kept asking for more. It really is best to just stand by your principles. It shouldn’t be just one side dictating how a relationship is supposed to work.
You’re right, the kind of relationship she wanted doesn’t exist, or at least it couldn’t be sustained over an extended period of time. I believed, even then, that a feeling of fairness is essential to a truly healthy relationship.