Daddy Justice (Ben Vonderheide) discusses his role in exposing one of Pennsylvania’s corrupt judges. Also discussed is Mr. Vonderheide’s continued activism and what you can do to get involved if you’d like to help fight to reform the family court system.
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Dr. F says
This will be a ripper of a show.
I’ll be there with rings on my bells and… no, I mean bells on my ringers and… Hang on, Ringers on…
Gosh and most darn it mam, you know what I mean.
Dr Tara Palmatier says
Thanks, Dr F.
Maybe it’s just me, but starting to miss focus on cluster b. All this “Daddy Justice” MRA stuff is watering down the content, and help, that I come here for. Spend most of my time on the “old” site…looking for new, helpful, commentary.
The guy provides proof that you can stop being a victim and do something about your situation. The focus should not be on the disordered person…but more on yourself and how to heal, prevent and move on. Although I do read up on the disorders, I spend more time with others stories and what helped them “get over”. Depends on where you are in your healing process but I learned a valuable lesson….you can spend all day trying to understand their behavior….it won’t help much. Understanding your behavior (which usually got you in trouble in the first place) is more important.
Until we deal with the fact that the family court system enables these cluster B women to completely screw their former spouses, we will never be able to hold them to account.
My SO is getting screwed over in multiple painful ways by the family court system, and his CB is getting to walk scotch free despite some pretty damning evidence
Yes I have to agree a bit with chester. This material about men’s rights legal issues and bigotry against men is good too, but I especially like this site’s focus on cluster B’s and abusive relationships. There are other sites like avoiceformen already covering these bases. Looking forward to the next article on abusive cluster B’s.
Dr Tara Palmatier says
The last time I published anything about Daddy Justice was in December. I’m sorry you don’t find the MRA material interesting or valuable. I write about it because the work they do is important. They’re actually trying to un-rig the system that has harmed so many men and children often at the behest of high-conflict personality disordered individuals.
I write about it periodically for the very reason david brings up in his comment. We can and should be exposing these people and the corrupt system in which they flourish.
I’m bored with Cluster Bs and their ilk. For the most part, they’re a boring group of toxic, self-obsessed destructive children in adult bodies. I’m much more interested in helping others figure out how to get away from their abusive partner and heal, and in providing information about how to get involved and do something to change the system and culture that aids and abets HCPs and PDIs.
I DO find the MRA stuff interesting, and Paul Elam comes up with priceless material. However it does devolve at times to a level of vulgarity that I think you are better than. Really I just miss your more initial stuff. I’m pretty far along in awareness/healing…new men will stumble in here each day…the “old site” I think, is a far better lifeline. A Voice For Men, just my opinion, is way off the charts in terms of name-calling..and bashes the hell out of women in a seemingly, general sense. Makes it all seem so hopeless.Your stuff is a safe harbor…that inspires me.
When you stick to your stuff, and just do what you do, the commentary on here is much more extensive…far more discussion. The other stuff, not as much. I think that speaks volumes as to what most of us come here for. You really are a big damn deal in our lives. I know you pretty much saved mine. I think the world of you.
On the show…
Cops do lie in court. Those that do don’t last long or if they do you come up with Drew Peterson. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stacy_Peterson). Me…I don’t lie. Period. I would rather loose a case than have to live with violating someone’s rights.
Hollow point (HP) bullets. No big deal. They work as well as any other ammo. The distinction that HP bullets are BAD is a media myth that continues to be perpetrated. Remember the “Black Talon” thing. Change the color and call them Ranger STX…same bullet. Gun under seat bad! Period.
Family Court….Rather go to the dentist for a root planing. Break a leg. Get knocked out. Family court just sucks.
Bad Judges. Add in Politics, goofy rules and sub standard DA’ and it is a circus. I do wish the bailiff would change the “All Rise..” announcement to “Cue the circus music…”
Attorneys. Its a club. To be a Judge (most of the time) you have to be an attorney. They all know each other, hang out together, intermarry, send their kids to the same schools, etc. You want to fight a Judge you have to catch them outside the courtroom, quite literally, with their pants down. Or driving drunk. Or whatever.
Judges and Accountability. In most states the state Supreme Court or Attorney General controls discipline of Judges. Complaining against a Judge or practicing attorney is VERY HARD. Remember it’s a club.
I wish all but the most sensitive cases (kids, sex assault, things like that)could be on video. Broadcasting live would be good to. I really do. All the shenanigans, stupidity, odd interpretations of law, etc. would stop.
Paul is correct…(about 40:00 into the show). Most people don’t care so they won’t step up. Hence the problems and stupidity continue.
Hat tip to Ben. You are doing us all a great service by taking the heat for this and taking your camera with you.
In as much as this is Dr T’s blog she is entitled to post about what ever subjects she chooses just as everyone is free to read the posts or not as their tastes dictate. The information provided here and on the original site has been invaluable to me and many many others. The entire range of subject matter is vital to not only provide a way to:
A) recognize the problem of living with an HCP
B) address the problem of dealing with the same either by getting out or coping in
C) understanding the consequences of breaking the ties in a system that is heavily biased
D) beginning to formulate strategies to fight and eventually overcome that bias
We can spend our energy bitching about the system or we can spend it trying to change the system. It won’t happen overnight but with persistence we will prevail. Look back at all of the just causes that have been fought for and rights won in the past. Change may be slow in coming but it is inevitable. We need to be in this fight for the next generation and the next and the next. We may not see justice but perhaps our sons and grandsons will.
I wanted to add something here. The last post and this is a reality check and reminder to anyone who decides to get involved with these personality types. When the real bad trouble started, in my case, I had police (street police and an unmarked car) following me the weeks leading up to her filing false charges against me. They will and do anything to get an upper-hand in a lot of for instances. Earlier that year, she had told me how she had made really good friends with a police officer. Was it a coincidence? Don’t know. A friend of mine thought I was going a little too far by thinking it might be possible for her to be exchanging favors (of a sexual nature) with a cop for support. I kid you not, a couple of months later, in a town 25 miles north of me, two police officers and a hooker were involved in a big scandal were she claimed rape by the officers. By what I hear, they were “protecting her” for sexual favors…when a disagreement ensued, she claimed rape. All this tells you one thing….don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself facing insurmountable odds when legal action/police and justice starts with one of these disturbed types.