Okay, let’s try this again.
As some of you know, a member of both the Shrink4Men and AVoiceforMen communities notified Paul Elam shortly before last Monday’s show was scheduled to air that he was at the end of his rope, couldn’t take it anymore and planned to end it. Left with little choice, the police in his area were contacted. Fortunately, the police found this man in time and he is receiving treatment. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers if you’re the praying kind.
The show is rescheduled for this Monday, March 19, 2012 at 9pm EST. This is the SHOW LINK and here’s the show description written by Paul Elam with some tweaks from me:
Do you ever feel like you are being tested in a relationship with a woman to see just how much garbage you will put up with? Does her voice start sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard? Do you often want to pull your hair out and scream “What the heck will it take to make her get off my back??!!”
Well, she is probably not a borderline, or a narcissist or any other kind of personality disorder. Or she just might be.
Sh*t testing, also known as nagging, criticizing, shaming, guilting and moaning, manipulating and a dozen other labels that your average guy knows all too well, is often an accepted and expected part of the female relationship repertoire, but it doesn’t have to be. The fact is that most all men are really powerless and ignorant when it comes to handling these things.
You don’t have to take the brunt of this nonsense, and tonight, on Red Pill Relationship Rehab with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier of Shrink4Men and Dr. Paul of AVoiceforMen, are going to discuss this and the very simple solutions will bring peace back into your life and help you to understand that saying No to a woman is neither a four-letter word nor is it “abuse.”
The call in number is 310-388-9709. The show starts at 9:00 p.m. EDT.
For the ladies out there, I will bring up that some men engage in this behavior, too. So, if you’re like me (Dr T) and have been on the receiving end of shit tests from your boyfriends and husbands, we’ll be discussing that, too. Shit tests seem to occur predominantly during the power struggle phase of the relationship, which we’ll talk about, too.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think nagging, bitching, etc., is “normal female behavior.” NAWALT (Not All Women Are Like That), of course. I think both sexes engage in this behavior and will address it tonight. The difference is that women have more social supports and are encouraged to tell men No and when they’re being made uncomfortable. Men are told to validate women’s emotions and to be supportive at all times even if it is to their detriment.
For HCPs/PDIs, this kind of discussion will fall on deaf ears. But for otherwise healthy men and women, it’s about increasing greater self-awareness and being a responsible adult in one’s relationships.
Nearly everyone uses manipulation to a certain degree. Problems arise when it becomes controlling and abusive. I think a lot of non-disordered people, men and women, have trouble explicitly asking that that partner meet their needs, which is often when these kinds of behaviors occur. If a person can own their needs and feelings and feel okay asking for them to be met, than manipulations like shit tests become unnecessary. At least, that’s my opinion. It should be a lively show and I hope you can make it!
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.