You shouldn’t have to explain normal adult behavior and basic decency to a grown adult. That is if said adult wasn’t raised by a pack of hyenas. Even young kids know lying, cheating, stealing, bullying, pitching tantrums, pouting and being sneaky are wrong. If they don’t learn it at home, there’s school church, Sesame Street and After School Specials on ABC. Anyone remember those?
During therapy, many clients recount giving what are basically lectures a parent would give to a naughty child to their disordered adult partners. That’s not normal. If you’ve done the same, did any of those lectures actually change anything?
Furthermore, if your narcissistic or borderline spouse or ex behaves like a decent human being in public, they know what acceptable behavior is. Now ask yourself why they choose not to behave that way with you.
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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