LIE: “I only act this way because you haven’t proposed yet!” Or any variation of, “I act like a lunatic because you make me!”
FACT: What the narcissist or other abusive personality is actually saying is they think it’s okay to behave outrageously and abusively if they’re not getting what they want, my precious.
BUT WHAT ABOUT: If a person (woman or man) so desperately wants to marry and their boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t, they have a choice. They can hang in there and hope the would-be groom or bride will change his or her mind, or they can end the relationship and find someone who wants to marry on their time table. If someone isn’t giving you what you want and you continue in the relationship, they’re not wasting your time; you’re wasting your time. This goes for abuse victims hoping that their abuser will change, too.
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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