Or not. According to DailyMail.com, an immigration officer in Britain put his wife’s name on a the list of suspected terrorists that effectively blocked her from returning to their marital home in Croydon, South London for 3 years.
Perhaps the gentleman just wanted some peace and quiet? Perhaps he believed this would be easier than going through a divorce? Now that his actions have been discovered by the Home Office, he’s been fired and I’d venture to guess that divorce is inevitable.
The Daily Mail Online reports:
An immigration officer tried to rid himself of his wife by adding her name to a list of terrorist suspects.
He used his access to security databases to include his wife on a watch list of people banned from boarding flights into Britain because their presence in the country is ‘not conducive to the public good’.
As a result the woman was unable for three years to return from Pakistan after travelling to the county to visit family.
The tampering went undetected until the immigration officer was selected for promotion and his wife name was found on the suspects’ list during a vetting inquiry.
The Home Office confirmed today that the officer has been sacked for gross misconduct.
While I appreciate the man’s ingenuity and creative problem-solving skills (have to admit this story gave me a good chuckle), putting your wife on a suspected terrorist list isn’t a good long-term solution/alternative to divorce. It appears his decision has come back to bite him on the backside (along with his wife).
Moral of the story: There is no easy way out or if you decide to put your wife on a terrorist suspects list, don’t put in for a promotion.
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I’m sorry, but this kind of behavior sounds exactly what these B-types would do… I know first hand how desperate and helpless the victims can get, but doing something like THIS?..
Dr Tara Palmatier says
I agree. It’s extreme. On the other hand, who knows what was going on at home. Maybe this guy didn’t feel like he had any other options and just snapped. It still doesn’t make it right. Unfortunately, no one has interviewed this man yet to ask why he did this.
When I was in grad school, one of my classmates was divorced. His wife was a govt contractor with a security clearance. He asked me if there was a way I could get derogatory information into her personnel file. I declined and reported him.
Dr Tara Palmatier says
Always take the high road, no matter how low the abusive partner goes. First, you don’t want to sink to their leve and, second, when your questionable actions come to light, they will crucify you for it and use it as a smokescreen for the improprieties they commit. Essentially, this guy gave his wife one heckuva nugget.
I am considering placing my wife on the No Rational Thought Processes Suspect List.
never again says
This reminds me of a joke.
A New York newspaper is interviewing an old Italian man and asks him the secret to a long, happy marriage.
He says “Onna my 25tha anniversair, I tooka my wife to Italia!”
The journalist says “That’s wonderful! What are you going to do for your 50th Anniversary?”
The old man says “Ima gonna go get her!”
I agree about not stooping to their level. My divorce will be final next month, and I actually thought about asking the lawyer to have it finalized on March 31, which is her birthday. My thought being that one day a year, she’d have to think about what she did to me.
But I realized right away that would be mean and vindictive. That’s who she is, not who I want to be. So I actually told the lawyer to make sure that it was finalized on any day except the 31st.
“they will crucify you for it and use it as a smokescreen for the improprieties they commit.”
Id agree with that. I was always ultra-aware of not giving the wife any ammo to use on me later. Because she most certainly would. Putting her on a no fly list would have been a hell of a thing for her to hang over my head.
But, on the other side, we can only guess at his motives.
In my marriage I had become so afraid of what would happen when I told my wife it wasnt working out, that if I could I would have done the same thing. These PD’d people have a way of making you fear them thats very deep, instinctual level. They have a way of emasculating you and making you into some kind of eunich thats afraid of confrontation. At least that was my case. Plus, you think, If they cant be reasoned with on day to day things and explode at the drop of a hat, you figure ‘what’s she going to do when I drop the breakup bomb on her’? I stayed with my wife for at least 6 months after I knew it was over, just because I was afraid of what she would do.
I fully expected on the first day after the – its just not working out – speech, that I would come home and all my stuff would be in a neat little pile of ash in the parking lot of our apartment, a baseball bat through my TV, the bank account cleaned out – after all, *I* owe *her* for (insert made up thing here). You just never know what to expect from a crazy person and thats a scary thing.
I kinda have to give the guy kudos though. Instead of him taking a geographic solution and getting away from her, he essentially put his wife on a one way trip away from him. THAT is a pair of brass ones.
I agree with anon re the gradual castration. At first, I would fight back, try to reason with my XW on just about anything she would be going ballistic about.After a while, one just gets worn down. She was relentless, always looking for a reason to explode or give the silent tratment.
This man should never have to buy another beer again. Ever.
Ron On Drums says
I’ll send him a pint…lol
crew, i am finding myself near breakdown. my youngest has started calling his real mother his step mother, because she is “always mean.”
she still has access to all of us.
the things the youngest has been saying have me pretty messed up:
“you saved my life — you are my saver!”
ok, can that be healthy? i mean a child saying that to his dad about being protected from attacks — by his own MOM?
the youngest had a meltdown at a friend’s place today. not a “normal kid tantrum,” but a “holy sh*t, this kid is going through a real traumatic situation meltdown.”
i’m having a very hard time sleeping, working, etc. my wife is “supposed” to be able to spend time with the kids soon.