Do you ever feel like you are being tested in a relationship with a woman to see just how much crap you will put up with? Does her voice start sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard? Do you often want to pull your hair out and scream, “What the heck will it take to make her get off my back??!!”
Well, she is probably not a borderline or a narcissist or any other kind of personality disorder.
She is a normal female, and she is making you crazy with normal female behavior. She isn’t bad, guys. She isn’t evil. She’s just a woman.
Shit testing, also known as nagging, bitching, pissing and moaning, manipulating and a dozen other labels that your average guy knows all too well, is a normal and expected part of the female relationship repertoire, and the fact is that most men are really powerless and unskilled when it comes to handling these things.
You don’t have to take the brunt of this nonsense, and tonight, on Red Pill Relationship Rehab with Dr. T and Dr. Paul, we are going to discuss this and the very simple solutions will bring peace back into your life if you spine up and use them.
The call in number is 310-388-9709. The show starts at 9:00 p.m. EST.
Dr T here. For what it’s worth, I don’t think nagging, bitching, etc., is “normal female behavior.” NAWALT (Not All Women Are Like That), of course. I think both sexes engage in this behavior and will address it tonight. The difference is that women have more social supports and are encouraged to tell men No and when they’re being made uncomfortable. Men are told to validate women’s emotions and to be supportive at all times even if it is to their detriment.
To be honest, I hesitated and almost changed that sentence. But kept it as is because it I think this is a great discussion point. For HCPs/PDIs, this kind of discussion will fall on deaf ears. But for otherwise healthy men and women, it’s about increasing greater self-awareness and being a responsible adult in one’s relationships. This topic caused me to do a lot of self-reflection over the weekend.
I think everyone uses manipulation to a certain degree. Problems arise when it becomes controlling and abusive. I think a lot of non-disordered people, men and women, have trouble explicitly asking that that partner meet their needs, which is often when these kinds of behaviors occur. If a person can own their needs and feelings and feel okay asking for them to be met, than manipulations like shit tests become unnecessary. At least, that’s my opinion. It should be a lively show and I hope you can make it!
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.