Dr Tara J. Palmatier of Shrink4Men.com will appear on AVoiceForMen Radio again next week, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 9pm ET. The topic will be “Accidental” Pregnancies, Entrapment and Children as Weapons.
How many men have been suckered and emotionally extorted into relationships and marriages with crazy, immature, high-conflict and/or personality disordered women who “accidentally” got themselves pregnant?
How many men would have ended relationships without looking back if not for being forced into fatherhood against their will and wishes?
How many men have stayed in an abusive relationship for the sake of their children, even though they feel a little piece of themselves die inside everyday?
An “accidental” pregnancy is one of the oldest tricks in the book of desperate, emotionally disturbed women.
Deliberately becoming pregnant without a man’s consent, against his explicit consent, as a way to hold onto him or to extort a commitment and money from him is one of the the most underhanded, contemptible forms of betrayal and theft there is.
Her body, her choice. Fine, but what about the genetic material a woman needs from a man to even have that choice? Parenthood ought to require mutual respect and consideration; a mutual choice. His sperm, his choice. Very often men have no choice about becoming fathers.
Before certain women make the emotional argument, “If he didn’t want to be a father, he shouldn’t have had sex!” let me say, grow up, get real and get some self-respect.
Women lie about being on birth control. Women claim their antibiotics rendered their birth control pills ineffective. Women lie about their menstrual cycles. Women lie and claim they’re infertile. They get ex-boyfriends drunk and lure them into bed. They collect sperm from used condoms. They get pregnant by another man and lie about the paternity. This is just wrong. It is wrong. It is wrong. It is wrong and it’s just a glimpse of the hell that is sure to follow.
Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women do NOT force men into fatherhood. Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women want to be loved for themselves, not because they arm twisted a man into “doing the right thing.”
A woman who deliberately gets pregnant against a man’s wishes and/or when she senses he’s about to end the relationship is a self-centered, un-empathic, duplicitous, manipulator of the highest order. Do not be fooled by her lies that it was an accident.
Accidental pregnancies are easily remedied. A woman who honestly becomes accidentally pregnant is open to exploring options such as adoption or abortion. If it’s a healthy relationship that was leading to marriage, then the pregnancy becomes a pleasant surprise.
A woman who doesn’t consider a man’s feelings and wishes about having his baby is NOT a woman he should bind himself to legally in marriage. These women are so twisted they lie to themselves and convince themselves that they’re doing this out of “love.” This is bullsh*t.
A woman who becomes pregnant to trap you is telling you loud and clear: “I don’t care what you want. I don’t care about you. I don’t care about your feelings. I want what I want and the consequences be damned. You will do what I want whether you want to or not. This is all about me and it will always be about me.” This is not love; it is the opposite of love.
In healthy relationships between healthy adults, children are a living symbol of their union and love.
Stealing a baby from a man to force a relationship or to extort money from him has nothing to do with love. It has nothing to do with wanting to raise and nurture a child into a healthy, productive adult.
A child conceived in this way is not his/her own little person; the child is a means to an end. The child is conceived for the sole purpose of tying the father to the mother against his will. The child is a weapon. The child is created to control and hurt the father. Women who view children as objects and weapons are highly likely to be parental alienators.
These women are not good parent material. Being a parent requires selflessness at times. Tricking a man into fatherhood is a supremely selfish act. A woman who does this demonstrates, before the child is even born, that she is incapable of acting in “the best interests of the child.” How is it in any child’s best interest to be born into a family in which the father was forced into parenthood with a woman he neither loves nor wants to be with?
If this has happened to you or someone you care about please tune in and call in to share your experiences and frustrations next Tuesday night.
I am considering doing Shrink4Men’s own radio show. Paul Elam of AVFM has graciously offered to let me use his platform to do my own show before I make the financial and time commitment of my own platform. I understand some of you aren’t comfortable with the MRM, however, my appearances on AVFM are about you and the issues you struggle with in your relationships. You can use a fake name to call in, but please consider calling or Skyping in. Ladies, I would love to hear from you, too.
I’m not interested in doing a 90-minute show during which I just run my mouth. That would be too boring for words. This show is about reaching out and interacting with you more directly. If you’ve felt shy or inhibited about calling in, please know you couldn’t possibly be more nervous than I am about going on air live. I hope to hear from more of you next week!
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.